My wife is three months pregnant. Is it okay for us to have sex? I feel embarrassed to ask our family doctor. We are avoiding sexual contact; but I do feel the urge for sex. What do we do?

This is one of the most common questions posed by couples expecting their first child. Their lack of knowledge regarding the correct method, timing and frequency cause varied misconceptions and at times, a total withdrawal from sex. This often backfires, as the woman, owing to her psychological state and emotional needs, fails to understand the behavioural changes in her partner. Here's what to expect.

Emotions on high

During pregnancy, a woman's mental make-up undergoes a dramatic change. She becomes emotional and sometimes oversensitive. The way her needs are acknowledged (or dismissed) affects her mental state and thereby the foetus as well. If she feels that her husband is not adequately responsive, she may get irritable, and suffer from insomnia,loss of appetite or over-stimulated hunger.

Most men are unaware that their behaviour often causes these emotional upheavals. Many take the easy way out and take their wife to the doctor, without realising that she simply needs her husband to understand her moods, feelings and anxieties.

Discrepancy in sex drives

The changes taking place in the mother-to-be are part of her biological make-up. Hormonal and chemical changes prepare her for conception, pregnancy and childbearing. The awareness that she is pregnant creates new aspirations and sexual relations go down the priority ladder. There is, however, no such biological change in the man. He needs to make himself aware of the physical and emotional demands of fatherhood, but continues to feel the urge for intercourse. In such a situation, it is essential that he does not force this one-sided need on his pregnant wife.

For intercourse

Though a woman may not have strong sexual urges, she does need warm and gentle physical contact and caressing. In the process, if she is aroused and willing, they can have intercourse too. However...

- Avoid the missionary (man-superior) position. Woman on top position is advisable, or they both could be in a sitting position, so that there is no pressure on her abdomen and that movement is gentle.

A child's bad or erratic behaviour in the classroom can be attributed to his or her parents a study has found.
A survey of over 8,000 members by the NASUWT Teachers Union found that more than two in three teachers identified poor back-up from parents as the most common factor for student misbehavior.
The negative influences of television and media were also blamed by teachers.
"Parents can't simply abandon their responsibilities at the school gate," BBC quoted NASUWT leader, Chris Keates, as saying.
"Teachers are not receiving the support they need from parents, school leaders or government to assist them in maintaining high standards of pupil behaviour," Keates added.

Parents can play an important role in preventing teenagers from consuming large quantities of alcohol, according to a new thesis.

It said that adolescents who smoke, stay out with their friends and have access to alcohol - from their parents, for example - when they are as young as 13 are at greater risk of becoming binge drinkers in their late teens.

"Initiatives that focus on strengthening the parent-child relationship and limiting parental provision of alcohol can prove effective in limiting risky consumption among adolescents," said Anna-Karin Danielson from the Department of Public Health Sciences, Karolina Instituted.

"Parents also play an important role when it comes to teaching young people how to resist peer pressure to drink," she added.

Danielson monitored 1,200 pupils aged 13 to 19 years between 2001 and 2006, and investigated which factors can reduce the risk of high alcohol consumption (protective factors) and which constitute risk factors.

The results showed that adolescents exhibiting risky behaviour in their early teens need help quickly as they are at greater risk of high consumption in the future, and of associated problems with their health, school, parents and friends, for example. This is where parental input can make all the difference.

"But boys and girls are slightly different," said Danielson.

"The risk of high alcohol consumption among boys who smoke and who have friends who drink is considerably reduced when parents keep an eye on what teenagers get up to, and with whom. Whereas girls in the risk zone benefit most from an emotionally stable and close parent-child relationship in terms of protective effect," she added.

Making the transition from school to college is filled with anxiety. Aisha Sahijwala gives you tips on grooming yourself for the much-talked-about college life
"Since high school, I anxiously waited to enter college - a place filled with fun, freedom and of course, education," recalls Simran Gupta, a class XII student of Mithibai College. A number of individual perceptions are linked to campus life. Undoubtedly, it is one of the most impressionable phases of student life. Today, students leave no stone unturned when preparing for college. Here are some tips that ensure a safe sail, when joining college.

The D-day

Most youngsters imagine vivid pictures of what their first day at college could be like. Friends, fun, lectures, books, libraries, blacklists and a host of good memories make place in the minds of young collegians. No matter how far the college attempts to make a fresher feel comfortable, it is ultimately freshers who need to gel with the crowd.
"My first day at college was confusing; I was lost among the crowd. Since I was new to the city, little did I know about college life in Mumbai. Probably that's what helped me make the best of friends at college," expresses Vinay Naik, a class 12 student. Your first day at college is what you make it to be. It is usually a combination of figuring out what division you fit into and who your batch mates are. When asked what you would do on your first day at college, Rhea Hirani, who is currently awaiting her SSC exam result says, "I want to study at HR College. My exploring expedition will begin at the college canteen. I've heard that it's got the yummiest of delicacies," she quips.

A whole new world

The new trend among students is that of getting a new wardrobe. No longer will they wear their old set of clothes and carry their same handbags. Initially believed as a trend followed by girls, it is now proved that boys too, prepare just as much. Rohit Arora, who just gave his class XII exam says, "Of course guys prepare for their first day at college. I remember shopping two months before college started. The same happened a year later. I practically changed my wardrobe twice."
College life begins way before you actually enter college. Preparing for admissions, filling forms, buying new accessories, clothes and diaries mark the beginning of your college life. The secret behind a number of blooming shopping hubs around colleges is revealed; ever increasing student crowd being the key.
Khushboo Khilnani, a KC College student quips, "I cannot count the number of times I have visited gift shops in the college vicinity. Whether it's a birthday or friendships day, our one stop gift shop is Satyam Collections. Infact, students are seen more at gift shops than in college. It's a phase actually. Initially, it's only about fun. Gradually, studies, projects and attending lectures come in."

This, that and all that

Apart from preparing for your days at college, the new highlight is that of increasing student clubs. The Rotract Club, Students Council, Language clubs and College fest clubs eagerly welcome new talent. Staying back for practice, breath-taking intercollegiate fests, convincing sponsors and a lot more combine practical learning and fun.
Whether you're prepared or not, your first day at college will be memorable. It's a race... beginning with a get-set-go! A combination of anxiety, curiosity and excitement await you! Go... experience this, that and all that!

A new survey has found that couples like to romance in the kitchen. According to the poll, 44 percent of people admitted to sharing “intimate moments” with partners in the kitchen, with almost one in 10 saying it happens at least once a week.
And it’s not just newlyweds getting hot and heavy on the stove top, as one third of couples, who have been together 15 years or more, reported they still found time to get amorous while cooking dinner.
The poll of more than 1000 Australians found 53 percent of respondents revealing that the best way to get in the mood for romance is to share a home-cooked meal.
Relationships expert Emma Merkas said that food had been an aphrodisiac for centuries.
“I think shows like MasterChef have increased interest in home cooking and created an expectation among women that men should be able to get involved too, instead of just leaving it to their partner,” News.com.au quoted her as saying.
Ninety percent of The Electrolux Passion For Food Survey respondents said a partner’s ability to cook was important with six out of 10 women wanting a male whiz in the kitchen.
The traditional roast topped the list of favourite meals for romancing, followed by seafood and steak with decadent chocolate pudding the ultimate dessert.

Women play computer games just as much as men, with many saying they enjoy gaming than those who admitted they enjoy sex, according to a new survey. According to the study carried out by Doritos, women spend even more time glued to their screens than their male counterparts. While 50 percent of men readily admit to frequent online gaming, a surprising 49 percent of women confess that they too are addicted to Internet games.
And while men spend 22.3 percent of their time online playing games, women trump them, whiling away 23.2 percent of their time online playing games.

Revealingly, the study showed that not only are women just as keen on gaming as men - but that the majority would rather spend time playing on their gadgets than having sex, reports the Daily Mail.
Worryingly, one in five even admitted to regularly gaming in bed.

The study also found that female gamers would rather play online games than go shopping.

Relationship experts have warned that addiction to gaming could isolate us from our friends and partners, leading to problems.
They said that even if a couple share the passion for gaming, there''s no doubt that with both parties turning their focus to virtual reality, a real-life bond could be harmed.

“I call it being ‘together alone’,” said relationship therapist Douglas Weiss.

“These days, people are on their mobiles at dinner; they spend hours on the computer or watching TV; and they are more connected to their Facebook friends than to the person they promised to love and cherish until death do them part,” he said.

“Technology is interrupting our relationships and allowing us to avoid each other. It has become a way of avoiding real relationships and intimacy,” he added.

Do you think that not having sex with your partner is a sign of a troubled relationship? Well, its not. A new research has indicated that the frequency of cuddling is a far better indicator of the strength of a relationship than having sex.
“Cuddling provides not just sensual pleasure, but also a feeling of comfort, security and companionship, all of which are just as important to a relationship as sex,” the Daily Mail quoted Paula Hall, relationship expert for online dating service Parship, as saying.
In fact, maintaining an intimate connection without the wild abandon of the hormonal early days can be vital for a happy relationship.
“The advantage of non-sexual intimacy is that couples often use this time together to talk about their emotional lives,” said Hall.
“Whereas when sex is their only way of getting close, couples who find emotional openness difficult often rely on making love to help them connect. They can find themselves missing out on other levels of intimacy,” added Hall.
If sex is the focus, it can mean that emotional problems are never discussed — whereas non-sexual touching, such as cuddling and stroking, encourages more relaxed bonding and intimate conversation, due in large part to the crucial “cuddle hormone” oxytocin.
“Oxytocin is produced by touch and, as well as making us feel good, it also inspires us to touch more,” said Hall.
“That means that the more you touch, the closer you feel and the more you want to touch,” she added.